was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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