She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Enjoy the penises
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
