hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
