She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
