Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
