Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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