my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
