hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
