I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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