hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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