he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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