i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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