We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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