I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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