I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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