very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
