Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
