my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
COCAINE IS GR8
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize