The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i dont even know how to be here
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize