my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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