super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
