youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
