He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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