I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
