So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
