That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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