My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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