i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize