Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
