Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
