he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
