One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
