Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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