the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I need to calm my uterus...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
