I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
