The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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