i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
