Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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