Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
