i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You are a genius and a whore.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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