its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
A+ Viking dick
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
