This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
