I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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