My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
