Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize