Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
