Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
