yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
