It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
