I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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