so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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