I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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