We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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