Porn is love you can see.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
