Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
