I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
