no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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