when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
