Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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