Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
