what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
