it hurts more in the daytime
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
