bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize