how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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