All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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