i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
