I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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