I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
