Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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