I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
