Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
