In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
