Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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