5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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