I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize